I can't help but think of you
by merandme
Summary: Peter and Emma take a break from their relationship and a fateful encounter with Sylar *cough* one night stand *cough* changes Peter's life and he can't stop thinking about him. Petlar with brief Pemma


**Author's notes:** I wrote this story for heroes' memorial kink meme but its few months too late, so I am posting this here.

**Warning: contains slash and mpreg!**

Ever since the carnival incident Peter and Emma had been together and Peter was happy, until now, when they decided to separate ways for a while. Now Emma had gone to visit some relatives with her mother and Peter was still at loss.

So he finished his shift and came back to his apartment thinking how he didn't have to work for another 36 hours. He wasn't sure if he was glad about it.

His brooding was put to halt by his cell phone ringing.

"Get dressed Peter we'll be at your place in 10" Hesam's voice sounded excited over the phone.

"Wait… what?" Peter said feeling stupid.

"We are going to the bar and you are coming with us, or we kidnap you your choice".

"Alright… Whatever" Peter didn't care.

"I really don't know what I am doing here" Peter complained to his bear bottle, his 'friends' were dancing on the floor. Yeah… great.

"You shouldn't talk to yourself Peter; people might think you are crazy"

He choked on his bear. Peter knew that velvet voice.

Coughing, he turned to glare at Sylar who, in his typical dark attire, had snagged a seat next to him.

"You sure have a way to scare people, and you disappeared" he accused the other man.

"Didn't disappear Peter, just looking for answers" Sylar replied.

"What answers?"

"I wanted to know if, you know, after all the years, I would still feel the hunger, if I could control myself. I don't want to hurt –anyone" he paused, then continued, "anyway, now I know that I can I want to connect with people, I feel good in a busy place like this after five years of isolation – what?

Peter hastily tried to wipe the smile off his face but failed. "Nothing, its just good to know you have really changed so much. Guess I don't need to save the others from you now" he grinned good-naturedly.

Sylar smiled and nodded "no you don't".

They were silent for a while, sipping their drinks.

"So, where were you all this time? Traveling?" Peter asked breaking the silence.

"Yeah, I was, went north, sightseeing etc. It was quite refreshing."

"Bet it was, after five years I mean."

"I know I missed you though. We spent 2 years together, alone. I think I grew used to you" Sylar said, a faint blush visible just above the collar of his jacket.

Peter knew he was staring but he couldn't stop himself. Sylar looked fairly innocent and gorgeous, all traces of a madman gone, revealing a charming, handsome young man.-'What?' Peter thought to himself. Since when had he been attracted to the guy, he loved Emma damn it!

A tiny voice in his head whispered he had 'always' been attracted to him, more so since that last year behind the wall in his head. Wandering how his lips would feel like touching his own, feeling his fingers on his skin.

Sylar looked over at him and Peter quickly averted his gaze, blushing furiously and hoping to God Sylar hadn't noticed. But the man in question leaned over with a slight smile and whispered in his ear,

"I happened to come across a mind reader so you don't need to hide from me, or can't. Just so know I wandered those same things".

His hands pulled Peter to face him, fingers tilting the younger man's chin toward him.

Peter looked into his chocolate brown eyes his hair falling in his face. As Sylar tucked those fallen locks behind with gentle fingers and held the back of his head tilting and bringing their faces closer, every fantasy, every dream Peter had had about him involuntarily came to the surface of his mind.

Sylar chuckled softly and brought their lips together. Peter shuddered at the feel of warm full lips against his; he relaxed and put his hands on Sylar's shoulder to pull him in.

Their kiss deepened extracting moans from both as their tongues explored each others mouth.

Peter broke the kiss to take a breath and smiled at the other man who stood up and paid their bills. Taking Peter's hand in his, Sylar all but dragged him out.

On Sunday evening, doorbell rang. Peter quickly opened the door hoping to see Sylar, but found himself staring at a very radiant Emma. She flung herself on him and he was taken aback before it came to him that this was the day they were supposed to have their 'happy' reunion! Only why wasn't he happy?

When she pulled back, Emma immediately launched into detailed description of her trip. Peter tried to humor her as best as he could with his thoughts elsewhere entirely and his heart strangely morose.

Later that night, his girlfriend crawled up on top of him and started kissing him in earnest.

"I missed you so much" she said stroking his cheekbones and looking at him with eyes full of adoration. Peter smiled and kissed her forehead unable to say it back.

He couldn't stop thinking about Sylar. How his hands fit with his, how his lips molded with his own, that talented tongue making him shudder and gasp.

Peter had left the following morning, saying this was a bad idea, and they shouldn't have done it. He had ignored the hurt look on Sylar's face when he touched him to take regeneration.

Now Emma was here and all he could do was think about the other man with an emptiness that refused to go away.

Emma noticed that Peter had been distant for the past few days and now he was irritable, cranky and sick.

She was just trying to help when Peter had snapped at her. This was getting too frequent and she was getting tired.

That morning she came to Peter's apartment, only to find him bent over a toilet seat throwing up. She was immediately beside him holding his back. Peter took a few gasping breaths and leaned into her letting her wipe his brow. With Emma's help he went to the bedroom and sat on the bed. Emma sat beside him handing him a glass of water.

"You should take a break Peter you are sick I'll call the supervisor, I am sure he'll give you a day off" Emma sounded so concerned that Peter felt like shit.

"Thanks Emma but I have to see Suresh today, he needs my help over something" Peter said.

"Something to do with people with abilities? You are worried that's why you have been-"

"An ass. Sort of but there's something else"

Peter reached Suresh's place 15 minutes late. He hadn't been feeling well, but this was important. Someone with a rare ability had turned up and was creating problems. Not world threatening, but he was uncooperative and skeptical. Peter thought this Ryan character was vaguely familiar but he wasn't looking deep in to it. Unexplained, one in themselves abilities were specially bad for him. And now with his health problems ability to morph between species was not particularly appealing.

He sat in one of the old chairs in his friend's apartment looking around listlessly, fighting the nausea that threatened to overwhelm him. His head felt light and he was visibly sweating. He brought a shaking hand to push his sweaty bangs out of his face.

"Peter? Are you alright?" Suresh asked him stopping in the middle of explaining Ryan's power that Peter was having a hard time to understand.

"No, I need to-" Peter got up to go to the bathroom before he ruined the scientist's furniture. He took a single unsteady step forward and collapsed barely hearing several voices call his name.

When he came around, he was aware of a number of voices, more than before, and- was that Sylar?

Peter groaned as he tried to sit up. Others, noticing he was awake, rushed to his bed

"You collapsed" Sylar was the first to reach him.

"I know. What are you doing here?" Peter asked breathlessly, energy reserves dwindling as he managed a sitting position.

Sylar smiled, oh so charmingly "your mother invited me". The smile turned into a knowing smirk.

Peter couldn't bear that look so his gaze wandered over to the other people in the room. Matt, Suresh, Bennet, even his mom, all of them wore the same look, mix of anticipation and apprehension. Only Ryan looked embarrassed, a faint blush on his features. He remembered the guy now. He was an addict Peter had treated that day when he and Sylar-.

"What?" he asked when no one told him a thing.

"I swear I didn't know my ability could do this, really, it was a joke that-" Ryan's apologies were cut mid sentence by the scientist.

"Peter what ability you have right now?" he asked.

"Emma's"

Mohinder nodded and launched into an elaborate explanation of what might be Peter's problem.

It turned out that Peter had taken Ryan's power that day unknowingly and activated it. Now he was having trouble because whatever it was, his body wasn't adapting very quickly. According to Mohinder it will adapt in due time.

"Why can't I just take his power again and fix this?" Peter questioned now confused, why would he adapt to something foreign in his body. Well not exactly foreign but still.

Everyone stirred, looking down and shuffling their feet.

"Umm… I don't think you would want to do that" Mohinder told him looking like he would rather not say this.

"Why not?"

"Because... umm ..." he looked around for help. None came. "Well Peter... see you are... You are pregnant"

Peter's mouth fell open, he didn't know whether to laugh or bolt out. Settling on giving out a disbelieving snort he said "that is ridiculous Mohinder. I am a man"

"That we know Peter but you caused this yourself, unknowingly, but its happening"

Everyone was silent, like they were holding their breaths.

"Its real" Peter whispered trying hard to- what he didn't know.

Angela took a step forward putting her hand on his shoulder. With a jolt Peter realized how fucking embarrassing all this must be for her, he was her 'son'. God what had he gotten into.

"I am so sorry mom. I didn't mean to-. I am sorry. I am such an idiot. You should disown me" he felt like he was about cry, what the hell? Fucking hormones already?

Angela hugged him.

"I knew when you manifested; this was going to cause problems, embarrassing ones too. But I don't blame you and I will support you on your decisions. I promise".

"I love you mom"

She brushed her hands through his hair for a few minutes before separating herself from him.

"Why don't you tell these fine people about the other father? They want to know"

Peter blushed even harder and stuttered a few syllables unable to look at anyone in the eye.

Sylar spared him further humiliation by pulling him close and kissing the top of his head. In front of everyone.

"I am" he told the room, tone dismissing them, as Peter leaned into him trying to make himself smaller.

What will Emma say if she'll find out, no scratch that, when she'll find out? At least he had broken up with her that morning.

Only one thing bugged his mind, he was in his own apartment.

"Wait, how did you find out and how did I get here?" he asked Suresh as everyone turned to go.

"You were out for a while Peter, we had time" Mohinder answered with a smile and stepped out of the room leaving him alone with Sylar.

Peter raised his head from Sylar's chest where he'd been leaning and looked up into his beautiful eyes.

"You'll stay a little longer?" his tone expressing the hope and longing his words couldn't.

Sylar kissed him softly on the lips "course I'll".


End file.
